Now that I’ve been admitted to SIT I have plunged into the endless tasks that need attending: renting out my house (which turned out to be a three-week nightmare involving legal fees and verbal abuse from a potential renter), finding a place to live in a location far from anything I know, packing away my treasures and figuring out what handful of stuff I can bring with me, saying goodbye to daughters, friends and sweethearts (okay, so I have no sweethearts, except the one in my imagination), getting ready to send my dog to my mother via air, cleaning the house, moving countless heavy boxes into the basement, and much more. And in doing so I’ve plunged into gloom and despair and panic and fear. I don’t know why I’m doing this whole moving thing. Partial and full-on meltdowns are the order of the day.

So here I’ll collect words of encouragement, for reference when I need them. I see a connection between what I’m going through emotionally and the turmoil an immigrant must experience. Yes, I realize the differences as well. I’m not driven by political or economic crisis. And I can go home at the end.

Anyway, here are things I may need to read before and after I go.

From Kay Tee

“I know I’ve told you before, but I think what you’re doing is remarkable and brave.  It ain’t diminished by having meltdowns.  I’ve had quite a few myself of late.  Moving is such an ordeal.  What you are doing is important and right.  Try to see your nervousness as directly correlated to the amount of good that you are doing.  Not only are you helping yourself, think of all the other important people, so often lost in the shuffle, that you will be assisting. They need you.  They truly do.  How wonderful that you have found an area in which you can help so measurably.  Of course you’re scared and homesick.  It’s a monstrous change with so many elements of potential headache.  You’re not even feeling all that strong right now. Incredible!  You’re just incredible.”

From Jeannette

[In response to my question, What was I thinking?] “You were thinking ‘Be adventuresome!’ And you are! A great journey awaits you. You can always run home anyway. I admire your spirit!”

From Bari

[In response to my question, Why am I doing this?] “Why not? No time to be doubting now. Time to start packing. You’ve taken the step; rejoice in it. This is an opportunity to change direction. And you like that kind of wilderness stuff. You can make pies with  maple syrup. You have to learn about the different kinds of maple syrup and tell me about it.

“You get to be in Vermont. You get to see a different kind of sky. Look at the sky. You’ll be in the fall, and fall in the northeast is beautiful. You get to enjoy the winter. I’m gonna tell you something that you may have forgotten since you’ve lived here so long: when you see the first day of real spring, it is so beautiful that you understand why you need winter. You’ll be close to Canada, and Montreal is great. And you can take the ferry to Lake Champlain.

“And you get to come back. Bring some music for when you feel lonely.

“I’m proud of you. I admire the fact that you took a step. And why the hell not. You know you’re building skills. You can market yourself at a time when it’s requiring everyone to find a new way to survive. And you know you can have a job working with the immigrants who are coming in here in droves.”

From Adi

“Remember that it doesn’t help to wonder why. Think Iris.”

From Lulu

“Dearest Ginsblossom, I am still inestimably proud of you for trying something like this upcoming Master’s program jaunt of yours. Even though, in the furor of packing and planning and horrible ex-tenants, it seems like a completely crazy plan, but… well, it is a crazy plan. But it’s also a *fantastic* opportunity for you, and I think you’re going to benefit: intellectually, socially, emotionally, and adverbially. Even I, in my infinite wisdom, cannot guess what opportunities this will open up for you. I will of course miss you, but we live amongst the solace of the telephonic/Intarwebbing age.

“You are horrifically funny-looking, but I think you shall manage quite well. I wish you the best of luck, and dogspeed. Wub, M.”

From Susie

“Separating from one world to the next always is anxiety-provoking to say the least.  Even for 9 or 10 months this is a major shift in life, lifestyle, etc. and to do it at our ages makes it even harder.

“The great thing is you’re doing it and by doing it you’ll make your new reality bring you forward, in all ways. Love to you, Susie”

From the Stone Variety of Susie

“Hang in there.  You are still doing the right thing, kiddo.   Now that I’ve seen that picture you sent of your home-away-from-home barn, I know you will be in a kind of  verdant fairyland (it all looks rather storybook).  And then the snows will come & then the bluebirds…..it will be a sensorial vacation from this one-dimensional weather town.  And you get to reinvent your brain and abilities and talents as you immerse in this new education & community of like-minded souls.

“That kind of metamorphosis is what sustained me as I moved from radio to mediation.  The surprise & novelty of it.  The high-dive into who-knows-what but, hey,  no one knows us. We bring no history, no trailing weird bits…. I sound like I’m in a witness relocation program. Love ya, s”

From Lisa Laird

“You are a born teacher…if some of our TH  teachers could do it, you’ll be a whiz… You’re a natural teacher because you love words, you’re fun and hip and interesting and you’re a great communicator. People will love to be in your class. You have natural ability to attract people! Enjoy. —Lisa”

From Elka Todeva [My advisor at SIT. I discussed my concern that I wouldn’t be able to handle the teaching during the internship, and expressed doubt that any of the sites would even accept me with my lack of experience.]

“But look at the contributions you made to class just today.” And she said the sites accept people of all experience levels.

And there are more generic reassuring quotations on the Sara Lawrence Lightfoot book page.