Interview Reflections Question 4: Who I Am in the Classroom

I noticed a surprising thing in one of Elizabeth’s classes last semester: that who I am in the SIT classroom is not someone my old friends would entirely recognize.

In a small-group project for The Four Skills, Sarah presented a lesson in which we thought of adjectives to describe the others in our group. Some of those that my peers suggested for me were ones I’d heard before: “creative,” “self-deprecating,” “funny,” “quirky.” But one startled me a little, since I’d never heard myself described in that way, nor is it how I think of myself: “assertive.” At that time did you ask your teaching group why they chose that adjective?  Did you share with them your surprise?

Mystified, I asked a handful of non-SIT friends what they thought of that label. “You? No way. You’re a complete wuss.”

Since then I’ve been more aware of the emergence of SIT Me, who is in some ways different than other forms of Me. All are true to my nature and beliefs, but each magnifies some aspects of my personality over others.

The SIT me doesn’t reveal her shyness. She is outgoing and bold: an active participant in class, even when it would be more comfortable and emotionally safer to remain quiet. Sounds like a fun person to do things with!

Why has this version of Ginna burst forth in the SIT classroom? I think two primary factors are involved.

First is the climate of trust and personal growth that derives from SIT’s educational philosophy. From the first day here I felt I was encouraged to speak my mind, freely and respectfully, even if I wasn’t in agreement with everyone. After a lifetime of relative silence in the classroom, I have come to believe that my honest opinion, in measure, is valuable to the group. Wow!  That is something we hope MAT students will discover, and I’m so glad you have!  (worth the tuition, isn’t it!)

The other major factor is my age. As a young person I often felt that I didn’t have much to offer to a discussion because of my inexperience. Some young people bravely bluster through new frontiers; I preferred to do so as quietly as possible. But now I know who I am. Isn’t it great to be “old” and wise? Though I have little experience in the field of TESOL, I have abundant knowledge of life — as befitting a person of “a certain age.” Much of what I know is transferrable to this new-to-me field. Absolutely! SIT Me was born at the intersection of maturity and openness to new information. Also, being older than many of my classmates, and feeling liked and supported by them, have been sources of nourishment for SIT Me when Wuss Me tries to take center stage. Wonderful insights, Ginna.  I see a change in you from the fall too.  Perhaps it’s this increase in awareness as well as growing self-confidence.

-Elizabeth