I’m in Delaware, sitting at the little round breakfast table in the kitchen, watching cardinals hop through the snow and reading my e-mail. I got a Facebook-y from Cesar Coy in Guatemala and was trying to translate it with Molly’s help. “How on earth will you teach English in Mexico when you can’t speak Spanish?” my mother asked. Until that moment, I had been thinking she might be impressed by how much Spanish I do know, rather than how much Spanish I don’t know. But oh well.

That aside, it’s another question I couldn’t answer, because:

• I don’t know who I’ll be teaching: what their levels and language facility will be. Will they be beginners? (I don’t think so, but am not sure.)

• I don’t know how to teach.

• I don’t know how I ever manage to do anything, when my own mother doesn’t have faith in me, and points out my weaknesses rather than my strengths. (It doesn’t matter than I’m 55 and have accomplished a great deal during my life: my mother retains her ability to put me “in my place” — and when I’m put there for no discernible reason, it’s most painful; I can’t help but think, “It must be true.”)

So how does someone teach when they don’t know anything? In fact, how does anyone do anything they haven’t done before?

Self-Confidence

First, it seems from this little exchange with my mother than one has a measure of confidence — or faith — that one can do it. There’s the affective filter again. Since teachers are learners, it applies to teachers as well. Come to think of it, the teacher’s affective filter — that is, level of anxiety v. confidence — probably has to be low in order for student’s filters to be low.

What happens when a teacher appears with their self-esteem shot and their belief in their ability to succeed full of holes? I don’t know, of course, but here’s what I guess:

Fundamentally, I imagine that students will think, “If she acts like she doesn’t know what she’s doing, she doesn’t.” In other professional fields, we sometimes give each other the benefit of the doubt. I think some students may also forgive initial trepidation on the part of the teacher, but it will shake their own confidence in the quality of their learning experience; the teacher will have to work extra hard to regain their respect. If it continues, the students will vanish, physically or mentally.

I’m guessing that first impressions are very important in a classroom. How the teacher behaves in that first class sets the tone for all that is to follow. It’s laying the first brick in the foundation. If the first one is improperly placed, it will take extra effort to set it right. And the more the “wrong” bricks pile on, the more unlikely one will be to be an effective teacher.

From my own experience, I am very attentive and even judgmental during the first class session of the teacher’s manner. At the same time, I have some forbearance, in case the activities of that day, if negative, are anomalous. But two days? I’ve pretty much got my mind made up.

Mostly I watch for level of expertise in the subject matter, sense of humor, and ability to engage me. I notice (while not necessarily watching for consciously) confidence, comprehensibility, mental facility and originality.

I’m getting bored with this topic. There are other factors that enable us to step into new situations in a a leadership role, and manage to survive and even succeed.

Preparation

Self-explanatory. Hard to do in this situation when I don’t know the ages and levels of my students, but I’m preparing a lesson plan that will work regardless of those factors. An experienced teacher could take such a lesson plan and reshape it on the fly. I can only hope that I’ll be able to fly by the seat of my pants.

I don’t feel that the coursework I’ve taken so far has given me enough preparation to step into the classroom. But perhaps no amount of coursework could do that.

“Testicular Fortitude”

To borrow Dan’s terminology, one needs, if not genuine self confidence, then the appearance of it. We have to be willing to leap into the void and see what happens. I’ll need guts. I think a lot of other personal traits fall into this general category: a sense of humor high among them. Humility and honesty: willingness to change gears and acknowledge when something didn’t work (but not to the point of self-deprecation). Willingness to experiment and adapt, and acute powers of observation to guess when. Open-mindedness. Curiosity about what will or could happen next, and creativity to see opportunities. The list is longer than this but again, I am bored.

Colleagues

Willingness to ask for advice, guidance, moral support, etc., from my peers at SIT and on-site.

On the Day

As prepared as I can be, I need to step into the first classes with a smile, a strong voice, and the best method acting I’ve ever done: “Be the teacher!”

I have to be The Little Engine That Could. But I’m in a better position than that little engine. While I’ve never been up the mountain, I need to remember all the other times I’ve done things I’ve had no idea how to do… and succeeded.